I Hate David Cameron

I know that I should have thought of a more imaginative title for this 'post', but I literally couldn't bring myself to say anything other than my total and utter feelings towards the fellow (and, let's face it, the rest of the 'Tory' 'party'). I did wonder about entitling it 'David Cameron made me crash my car' but I thought for legal reasons it was safer not to. However, that is the truth. Whilst driving merrily along in my golden 'chavmobile' (ironic, always) Wilhelmina, I came across a MASSIVE billboard of Cameron (as above) and was so horrified by his enormous, airbrushed, traumatic face that I quite literally almost drove into a ditch, such was the effect on my concentration levels.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not entirely against conservative (with a small 'c') values; I am, after all, perhaps the greatest prude known to man and I often long for a time when we lived in a less obviously depraved society. I did also once wear an all blue outfit to school long before I was able to vote in order to support the Tories. Oh dear. I assume this was during my long forgotten wannabe-Sloane phase and, regardless, I wear all blue outfits almost every day anyway. I would wear red (for Labour) but it simply isn't my colour).

The 'modern' Conservatives, however, are little short of heinous and I, quite frankly, can't stand them. It all seems to be one massive publicity stunt to make Cameron the David Beckham (or whoever is considered to be the most famous man in the world these days, I'm not very down with the kids) of politics, rather than to actually offer help to anybody. His campaign seems to be - appear on This Morning. Be smug. Get photographed for a billboard. Get airbrushed. Ramble on about bringing back fox hunting (probably the worst idea known to man, how about Tory hunting instead?). Ramble some more about getting rid of inheritance tax. Anything, basically, that the plebs won't benefit from. What a lovely, lovely political party. At least Labour do their very best to help the poorer members of our society - they might not always succeed but at least that's where their political beliefs lie, rather than aiming solely to save the country estate that's been in the family for seven decades.

Also, I know the Houses of Parliament are traditionally bear baiting ground but these days, in my 'close' watching of Prime Minister's questions (I went to see it once in real life (!) with Tony B; It was thrilling), it seems to be little more than a full on attack on the Labour party. And this brings me to another point - I love Gordon Brown. He may not be perfect, but he's hardly on the level of Hitler now, is he?

That 'scandal' with that 'grieving mother' in the autumn was my absolute political lowpoint of 2009. I think it says more about her going to the Sun 'newspaper' as opposed to a quality title with her story than it does about Gordon. He can't help having bad handwriting - he clearly has eye issues. People are so mad and just looking for someone to force the blame on to.

If David Cameron does (God forbid) get elected this May, I only hope that the smile will be wiped off his face when the tables are turned and people get sick of the Tories and want Labour - and some level of social inclusion - back on top.

I will say, though (and I am aware that this utterly undermines my argument), if Boris Johnson was going for the top job, it might very well be a different matter. Comedy value - not self-satisfiedness - sells, in my book.