Political Dressing

So, Hadley Freeman (the woman whose post I spent 8 hours straight opening whilst at The Guardian back in January and whose work I usually read and nod my little blonde head sagely in agreement with) has today blasted my outfit plans for May 6th right out of the water.

Now you may ask "Why oh why have you planned your outfit two and a half weeks in advance when it's not a wedding or an uber-special party or some such similar high jinks?" and I would reply, "Why, it's the General Election, of course, and that kind of event definitely deserves its own special outfit". I told you I was 'unconventional'.

Oh yes, every general election I simply have to have a planned outfit. On the last occasion, in 2005 when I was the grand old age of 15 (yes, I was a tragic teenager), I wore a fully blue outfit to school in support of the Tory party. My very Lib Dem French teacher looked like she would quite happily slam my head in the desk. Fantastic.

Although I haven't suddenly joined the Lib Dem party (I may appear to be a fan of jumping on the bandwagon but point blank refuse to jump on a Nick Clegg shaped one however young and 'glamorous' he may be), I have definitely seen the light with regard to the Conservative party and have, therefore, decided to purchase some items of sartorial wonderment in red.

Yes, red.

Now, red is not my colour at all, chiefly for the reason that I have the skin colour of a dead person - ie. beyond whiteness and into the realms of deathly palour. Lovely. And that is why I have bought a red skirt and headband (the latter is purely for ironic reasons) so they are not too near my face and I look less dead.



Anyhoo, after this article (which was featured in the Ask Hadley column so, I suppose, it can be assumed to be somewhat tongue-in-cheek...), I am now debating my election outfit. Perhaps I should abandon my Labour supporting skirt-and-headband combo and just dress in my usual style (ie. exactly like a Tory wife circa 1982. Disaster.) However, I am able to think by myself and so, come May 6th, you're pretty likely to see me looking like a corpse in unadvisable red garments. Oh yes (or oh no, depending on your particular political - or sartorial - viewpoint.)

Behind the Times (In both senses)

This song is totally floating my boat at this very moment in time - and, yes, I know that it's probably been out for absolutely yonks but I heard it on Newsnight yesterday and now I love it. And yes I know that when one's music tastes are dictated by a highbrow news show, one's chances of ever gaining any 'street cred' whatsoever are instantly down the train, I don't care. I love Newsnight and I would, quite literally, kill to work there one day (well, perhaps not quite...) I wasn't familiar with the Yeah Yeah Yeahs before yesterday evening (I saw Karen O at Fashion Week once, but that's it!) but I think it's pretty edgy, pretty Alice in Wonderland-y (as in the lyric 'off with your head' etc), pretty fabulous.


On a sort of Newsnight-y note, I am so into this election campaign and would write something terribly deep about it but a) no one cares and b) I am, despite my passion for the topic, fairly ignorant about it, unfortunately so, instead, I'm writing about the wives' outfits because I am that shallow.

Despite my absolute hatred of anything whatsoever to do with David Cameron, I must admit that 'SamCam's' first day of campaigning outfit was far superior to that of Sarah Brown (despite her inclusion of stripes aka my sartorial passion) - stylish, classic and everything a wannabe-first lady should wear. But - please God - she stays just that - a wannabe. Vote Gordy!





Day 2 of the campaign outfits...

Okay, so rather than actually getting any work done (and, therefore jeapordising my chances of getting a degree - oh well), I have decided once again to 'review' the party leader's wives election campaign outfits...




Sarah Brown's look was far better than the previous day... and far better than SamCam's, far more put together although the cardigan is a bit of a dodgy colour...

... But still far superior to SamCam's which, although in my absolute favourite colour palette, is ill fitting and kind of Aladdin like, I think...

... But is still a LOT better than Nick Clegg's wife's sartorial monstrosity which is, quite simply, disastrous!

Just say "NO" (but remember to rescue the kitten)

I Hate David Cameron

I know that I should have thought of a more imaginative title for this 'post', but I literally couldn't bring myself to say anything other than my total and utter feelings towards the fellow (and, let's face it, the rest of the 'Tory' 'party'). I did wonder about entitling it 'David Cameron made me crash my car' but I thought for legal reasons it was safer not to. However, that is the truth. Whilst driving merrily along in my golden 'chavmobile' (ironic, always) Wilhelmina, I came across a MASSIVE billboard of Cameron (as above) and was so horrified by his enormous, airbrushed, traumatic face that I quite literally almost drove into a ditch, such was the effect on my concentration levels.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not entirely against conservative (with a small 'c') values; I am, after all, perhaps the greatest prude known to man and I often long for a time when we lived in a less obviously depraved society. I did also once wear an all blue outfit to school long before I was able to vote in order to support the Tories. Oh dear. I assume this was during my long forgotten wannabe-Sloane phase and, regardless, I wear all blue outfits almost every day anyway. I would wear red (for Labour) but it simply isn't my colour).

The 'modern' Conservatives, however, are little short of heinous and I, quite frankly, can't stand them. It all seems to be one massive publicity stunt to make Cameron the David Beckham (or whoever is considered to be the most famous man in the world these days, I'm not very down with the kids) of politics, rather than to actually offer help to anybody. His campaign seems to be - appear on This Morning. Be smug. Get photographed for a billboard. Get airbrushed. Ramble on about bringing back fox hunting (probably the worst idea known to man, how about Tory hunting instead?). Ramble some more about getting rid of inheritance tax. Anything, basically, that the plebs won't benefit from. What a lovely, lovely political party. At least Labour do their very best to help the poorer members of our society - they might not always succeed but at least that's where their political beliefs lie, rather than aiming solely to save the country estate that's been in the family for seven decades.

Also, I know the Houses of Parliament are traditionally bear baiting ground but these days, in my 'close' watching of Prime Minister's questions (I went to see it once in real life (!) with Tony B; It was thrilling), it seems to be little more than a full on attack on the Labour party. And this brings me to another point - I love Gordon Brown. He may not be perfect, but he's hardly on the level of Hitler now, is he?

That 'scandal' with that 'grieving mother' in the autumn was my absolute political lowpoint of 2009. I think it says more about her going to the Sun 'newspaper' as opposed to a quality title with her story than it does about Gordon. He can't help having bad handwriting - he clearly has eye issues. People are so mad and just looking for someone to force the blame on to.

If David Cameron does (God forbid) get elected this May, I only hope that the smile will be wiped off his face when the tables are turned and people get sick of the Tories and want Labour - and some level of social inclusion - back on top.

I will say, though (and I am aware that this utterly undermines my argument), if Boris Johnson was going for the top job, it might very well be a different matter. Comedy value - not self-satisfiedness - sells, in my book.