Jumping on the Oscars Fashion Bandwagon (or Caterpillar Fancy Dress)

Because I am officially a 'student', I spend approximately 99% of my time procrastinating, and the remaining 1% actually working. This moment in time is being dedicated to my very favourite hobby of procrastination; rather that than writing a 'wonderful' essay on the overly thrilling debate concerning the possibility of the existence of pre-modern atheists (or not). I know, I know. Horrific.

Anyway, I have decided to write about Sunday night's Oscar dresses... I remember doing a house assembly on the subject at school when I was about 14 (house assemblies were a tradition at my bobby dazzling school - I'm not sure if the same applies to every other school but rather than talk about anything serious, I always chose to talk about fashion and costume. Oh dear - or oh good, depending on how you look at it). These assemblies always went down pretty well and so I thought I would revisit my small 14 year old self and get cracking with some Oscar dress reviews.

I don't often get overly excited about 'celebrity style' (or about celebrity culture overall - apart from Angela Lansbury - more on that another time...) and these Oscars were absolutely no exception. There were literally only three or four dresses which passed my very tough 'style-o-meter' (I have never used that expression before and you can rest assured that I will most probably never use it again), the others were absolute bobby dazzlers (and not in the good sense). I will give my opinion on a few now - because, as I have said before, my loyal followers (myself) care so much for my amazing opinions... Oh well, it sure as hell beats writing about olden day atheists...

Ps. This is almost a week after the event - decades in fashion terms - but don't blame me, blame blogspot - my pictures absolutely refused to upload. Disaster.

THE GOOD


This got rather a lot of criticism in the press for looking like a 'loo roll holder' (vulgar) but in actual fact I really like it. I think that Amanda Seyfried looks very stylish and the look harks back to the 'golden age' of Hollywood glamour. Very chic and glamorous - an excellent combination.

Whilst not usually a fan of Cameron Diaz's outfits - she often looks rather scruffy - I think she looks great here. It's more the hair than the dress though, to be honest, it looks fantastic and is inspiring me for the summer!

I love my cliches and I'm about to use an absolute bobby dazzler now - Diane Kruger quite literally never puts a foot wrong when it comes to clothing. This is beautiful - so avant garde, individual and different from the standard actress uniform of a little black dress, I think it must be her Europeaness which makes her so stylish. Perhaps not her best look ever ever, but it certainly works for me.

Whilst I will readily admit to never taking any notice whatsoever of Demi Moore (I will quite readily admit that I've never seen one of her films and probably never intend to and have never seen her wear anything particularly thrilling), I thought that her Oscar dress was literal perfection. The colour, the shape, the detailing, just the general 'atmosphere' of it are absolutely wonderful. I can't really express how much I love it and what I wouldn't give to have it in my wardrobe... I would say, for me, this was the best dress of the entire 2010 Oscars. Beautiful.

THE BAD


To me, Kate Winslet's outfits are always dull, dull, dull. To the rest of the fashion press, she looks 'fabulous'. I'm sticking with my own opinion on this occasion. This dress is an asbolute shocker - she looks like she got stuck in a toaster and couldn't make it in time for the Oscars and so decided to go in fancy dress... as a toaster. Disastrous.


Oh dear. So unflattering - it reminds me of when I got wrapped in bubblewrap and ended up looking like Tweedle Dum (or Dee, for that matter). The fabric is horrendous and it just does not look good. At all.

I don't really know why I've put this one in the 'bad' catergory to be honest. I don't think Charlize Theron's dress was as bad as the assembled fashion commentators of the world made out. It is obviously a bit 'out there' and doesn't come close to the dresses in my 'good' section, but it's okay. Perhaps I should change this to the 'Okay' section? Perhaps not.

AND THE BUGGERY UGLY



Oh dear God. Where do I start? Mariah Carey cannot dress at all. This would look out of place even at a Saturday night in Essex at a particularly chavtastic nightclub. All of the fashion press agree it's an utter disaster - so unbelievably un-Oscarlike I have to use another cliche - what was she thinking?!

Surprisingly, this dress did not crash and burn as I expected it to when I first set eyes about its monstrous being. It. Is. Hideous. The sparkly top of it is pretty nice but the rest of it looks like a costume trying to be a caterpillar just going into its cocoon and failing badly. It's just caterpillar fancy dress. Not good. AND she was in Avatar - AKA the worst film ever made. I demand those two and a half hours of my life I spent watching its utter awfulness back. So even if her outfit was perfect I'd always think, "That's the woman who was in that truly heinous war film with blue people".