Political Dressing

So, Hadley Freeman (the woman whose post I spent 8 hours straight opening whilst at The Guardian back in January and whose work I usually read and nod my little blonde head sagely in agreement with) has today blasted my outfit plans for May 6th right out of the water.

Now you may ask "Why oh why have you planned your outfit two and a half weeks in advance when it's not a wedding or an uber-special party or some such similar high jinks?" and I would reply, "Why, it's the General Election, of course, and that kind of event definitely deserves its own special outfit". I told you I was 'unconventional'.

Oh yes, every general election I simply have to have a planned outfit. On the last occasion, in 2005 when I was the grand old age of 15 (yes, I was a tragic teenager), I wore a fully blue outfit to school in support of the Tory party. My very Lib Dem French teacher looked like she would quite happily slam my head in the desk. Fantastic.

Although I haven't suddenly joined the Lib Dem party (I may appear to be a fan of jumping on the bandwagon but point blank refuse to jump on a Nick Clegg shaped one however young and 'glamorous' he may be), I have definitely seen the light with regard to the Conservative party and have, therefore, decided to purchase some items of sartorial wonderment in red.

Yes, red.

Now, red is not my colour at all, chiefly for the reason that I have the skin colour of a dead person - ie. beyond whiteness and into the realms of deathly palour. Lovely. And that is why I have bought a red skirt and headband (the latter is purely for ironic reasons) so they are not too near my face and I look less dead.



Anyhoo, after this article (which was featured in the Ask Hadley column so, I suppose, it can be assumed to be somewhat tongue-in-cheek...), I am now debating my election outfit. Perhaps I should abandon my Labour supporting skirt-and-headband combo and just dress in my usual style (ie. exactly like a Tory wife circa 1982. Disaster.) However, I am able to think by myself and so, come May 6th, you're pretty likely to see me looking like a corpse in unadvisable red garments. Oh yes (or oh no, depending on your particular political - or sartorial - viewpoint.)

Jumping on the Oscars Fashion Bandwagon (or Caterpillar Fancy Dress)

Because I am officially a 'student', I spend approximately 99% of my time procrastinating, and the remaining 1% actually working. This moment in time is being dedicated to my very favourite hobby of procrastination; rather that than writing a 'wonderful' essay on the overly thrilling debate concerning the possibility of the existence of pre-modern atheists (or not). I know, I know. Horrific.

Anyway, I have decided to write about Sunday night's Oscar dresses... I remember doing a house assembly on the subject at school when I was about 14 (house assemblies were a tradition at my bobby dazzling school - I'm not sure if the same applies to every other school but rather than talk about anything serious, I always chose to talk about fashion and costume. Oh dear - or oh good, depending on how you look at it). These assemblies always went down pretty well and so I thought I would revisit my small 14 year old self and get cracking with some Oscar dress reviews.

I don't often get overly excited about 'celebrity style' (or about celebrity culture overall - apart from Angela Lansbury - more on that another time...) and these Oscars were absolutely no exception. There were literally only three or four dresses which passed my very tough 'style-o-meter' (I have never used that expression before and you can rest assured that I will most probably never use it again), the others were absolute bobby dazzlers (and not in the good sense). I will give my opinion on a few now - because, as I have said before, my loyal followers (myself) care so much for my amazing opinions... Oh well, it sure as hell beats writing about olden day atheists...

Ps. This is almost a week after the event - decades in fashion terms - but don't blame me, blame blogspot - my pictures absolutely refused to upload. Disaster.

THE GOOD


This got rather a lot of criticism in the press for looking like a 'loo roll holder' (vulgar) but in actual fact I really like it. I think that Amanda Seyfried looks very stylish and the look harks back to the 'golden age' of Hollywood glamour. Very chic and glamorous - an excellent combination.

Whilst not usually a fan of Cameron Diaz's outfits - she often looks rather scruffy - I think she looks great here. It's more the hair than the dress though, to be honest, it looks fantastic and is inspiring me for the summer!

I love my cliches and I'm about to use an absolute bobby dazzler now - Diane Kruger quite literally never puts a foot wrong when it comes to clothing. This is beautiful - so avant garde, individual and different from the standard actress uniform of a little black dress, I think it must be her Europeaness which makes her so stylish. Perhaps not her best look ever ever, but it certainly works for me.

Whilst I will readily admit to never taking any notice whatsoever of Demi Moore (I will quite readily admit that I've never seen one of her films and probably never intend to and have never seen her wear anything particularly thrilling), I thought that her Oscar dress was literal perfection. The colour, the shape, the detailing, just the general 'atmosphere' of it are absolutely wonderful. I can't really express how much I love it and what I wouldn't give to have it in my wardrobe... I would say, for me, this was the best dress of the entire 2010 Oscars. Beautiful.

THE BAD


To me, Kate Winslet's outfits are always dull, dull, dull. To the rest of the fashion press, she looks 'fabulous'. I'm sticking with my own opinion on this occasion. This dress is an asbolute shocker - she looks like she got stuck in a toaster and couldn't make it in time for the Oscars and so decided to go in fancy dress... as a toaster. Disastrous.


Oh dear. So unflattering - it reminds me of when I got wrapped in bubblewrap and ended up looking like Tweedle Dum (or Dee, for that matter). The fabric is horrendous and it just does not look good. At all.

I don't really know why I've put this one in the 'bad' catergory to be honest. I don't think Charlize Theron's dress was as bad as the assembled fashion commentators of the world made out. It is obviously a bit 'out there' and doesn't come close to the dresses in my 'good' section, but it's okay. Perhaps I should change this to the 'Okay' section? Perhaps not.

AND THE BUGGERY UGLY



Oh dear God. Where do I start? Mariah Carey cannot dress at all. This would look out of place even at a Saturday night in Essex at a particularly chavtastic nightclub. All of the fashion press agree it's an utter disaster - so unbelievably un-Oscarlike I have to use another cliche - what was she thinking?!

Surprisingly, this dress did not crash and burn as I expected it to when I first set eyes about its monstrous being. It. Is. Hideous. The sparkly top of it is pretty nice but the rest of it looks like a costume trying to be a caterpillar just going into its cocoon and failing badly. It's just caterpillar fancy dress. Not good. AND she was in Avatar - AKA the worst film ever made. I demand those two and a half hours of my life I spent watching its utter awfulness back. So even if her outfit was perfect I'd always think, "That's the woman who was in that truly heinous war film with blue people".